Well, I’m at 38 weeks. How do I feel, you ask? Pretty ok, under the circumstances. I was feeling calm, and then I freaked out about the labor…now I’m more calm. It helped that the birth assistant told me today I had a “rockin’ pelvis” since I could push out a posterior baby without her turning. Its true, I suppose I would have a bit more room in there to allow for a nine pound Vi to escape sideways and flipped. She never made things very easy. That has been the source of most of the anxiety for the past several weeks…How do I handle a strong willed, emotional, almost two year old AND a newborn? Earplugs? Whiskey? The crazy thing is that people do it ALL THE TIME.
I’m surprised I’m not DYING to “get-this-baby-outta-me”. I think its because I know what comes after. And carrying this boy internally is just plain easier than pushing him out. For those of you who don’t know, we’re having a home birth. We even rented a fancy birthing tub! Silly hippies we are. So its taking up half our dining room behind me as I write and I have a feeling it will be worth the rental fee.
Another difference is that I’m really looking forward to meeting him. There was so much unknown with the first baby that I didn’t have the chance to enjoy Viola as this squashy miracle in her crib…I was too busy being worried she’d asphyxiate during the night.
That’s all for now. The clock is ticking!