Third Trimester Preg-somnia. Its my fault for eating garbage and caffeine this evening… I was at a Pizza and PJs MOPS night with the ladies. What a MOM thing to do. I also attended a La Leche League meeting this morning. I used to frequent the meetings for breastfeeding support, and still continue to go even though Vi is weaned to support other moms. Or because I have nothing better to do?
I left the meeting slightly irritated, not really knowing why. It was the same story–tired mothers needing direction in the seemingly never-ending journey of being a food source. I thought I was just irritated because I seem to be the only one who sleep trained their child and wouldn’t accept that she “needed” food in the middle of the night. I suppose that was part of it. But I think I mostly just get fed up with the infant crowd. When you have an infant, especially your first, you’re essentially in survival mode for at least the first year. Everything is a crisis, and you’re so. damn. tired. Your world stops for your child because it has to. They are just too little to have much wiggle room in that area. But its not just that you’re in the trenches…its the interesting ways that moms cope to get through the first year. Since all you do is eat sleep and breathe this baby, the rest of the world is secondary, resulting in a slight superiority complex. You’re absorbed in baby-land and suddenly you’re a mommy blog reader, Dr Sears groupy, and obsessed with the latest baby clothes consignment sale. I’m guilty of most of this. And what else can you do? Nothing really, except whatever gets you through the day.
I’m looking forward to the next infant experience being slightly more laid back. Having an infant in addition to the toddler will be more like having an extra appendage–lots of feeding while wearing him in the carrier while a gather a giant diaper bag of books and snacks for the mobile one. I have enjoyed Viola as a 1.5 year old…I feel a little more sane, and I can contribute to the world a bit more while still missing this Spring’s consignment sale. I’m resistant to the all-absorbed mom mode because I wasn’t a huge fan of the first year. Viola was not the easiest baby and it makes me enjoy the “now” a lot more. I’m assuming the next baby will be a great sleeper and have a cheery disposition. Either because that’s the way he is, or because I just don’t have the time or energy to cater to him.
I suppose the way that a lot of new moms function in the first year is not real-world sustainable, and that’s what I’d like to be this next year. Yes frazzled and tired, but also that I can manage to get out of the house occasionally and buy a latte to feel like a real person.
Cheers to that!