Great Expectations

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I have been meaning to blog for awhile, but I guess I have been enjoying the fruits of a good nap schedule. Alas, however, the other shoe has dropped.  But I am still thankful for the time we had with two predictable and long naps per day.  And she is still more or less on that same schedule, but a lot has happened to shake up the whole thing.

So here I go…again…talking about my child’s sleep.  Again.  I’m boring myself.  The positive things that have been happening are that Viola has learned to walk.  Yay!  She has also remembered she can stand up in her crib and scream helplessly at all hours of the night until someone goes in and lays her back down.  She also cut her fourth tooth.  These shenanigans led into a little vacation weekend we had planned with a good friend in NC who has a boy four months older than Viola.  I wish I could say that it was a relaxing and bliss filled weekend.  Unfortunately Viola’s lack of sleeping, plus being in a new place created a monster…me.  I was irritable and hormonal and had a couple break downs and pity parties.  I was not gracious or patient, I was exhausted, frustrated, and Viola’s sleep did not meet my expectations.  Some of the best parts were after the kiddos went to bed and the adults could relax and talk (although it is pretty awesome seeing you and your college friend’s kids play together!).

The funny thing about expectations–once you adjust them, everything is different.  I had higher expectations for Vi since we had a couple months of awesome-ness.  Then I felt like we had a newborn again (NOOO!!!!!).  I noticed something interesting after the trip…how I was extra insane because I wanted everything to be smooth in front of my mom friend.  My self worth was wrapped up in how well I could manipulate my 13 month-old’s sleeping patterns.  Part of me wanted to prove I didn’t suck at this whole thing in front of another mom.  Thankfully, my friend is gracious and understanding, so its all on me and my pride.  Silly pride.

Thankfully the tooth has popped and Vi’s naps are improving again.  Her nighttime sleep has started normalizing again so I’m optimistic for tonight, but I’m trying not to raise my expectations too high.

I also began jogging again to train for my first 5k in November.  Then I got tendonitis and had to stop for two weeks to ice religiously.  That has added to my doldrums as of late, but I’m optimistic I can get back into it next week with a new pair of shoes.

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3 responses »

  1. Sigh. Thanks so much for your honesty. I find myself struggling with the same problem – unreasonable expectations fueled primarily by what I think other people might think of me or my baby. It’s amazing how freeing it is to realize that it doesn’t ultimately matter what other people think. You do what works best for your family, and remember that when other parents describe their perfect, textbook style child rearing experience that they are probably embellishing 😉

    • I second what Meg said. Everyone is good at some things and bad at some things. Babies too. I started jogging recently too. A new pair of shoes makes all the difference. Good luck! 😉

  2. Thanks for your post! One of these days we’ll actually get to chat. I actually have tomorrow off, so maybe we can tomorrow. 🙂

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